Broken Doesn't Mean Meritless
by Utashi
Summary: "I like to think of pearls as angels. The black ones are angels who have been broken and lost their home. I like to pick them up, believing that one day the broken will all eventually find our way back home." [Edited/In Progress Version.]
1. Cogs, Canes, and Clubs

**Author's Note: Hello, everyone, Antique Ashes (or formerly Torture Tricks and Tailcoats, if you prefer) here. I'd like to welcome you back to the story, after quite a long hiatus. I've edited some of the old chapters, but nothing too major. Those will all be up soon, and I've got six new chapters for you that should be up pretty soon as well. Of course I'll still be updating after that, but it may be slower because I'm still in school, and we'll have exams coming up soon. So I'll shut up now, so you can enjoy the story. As always, reviews are loved! **

Chapter 1

Cogs, Canes, and Clubs

Fire. There had been so much fire, and blood. Everything flowed together into a scorching painting of seething red and screams. That eventful day was all he could think about, four years later as he sat on a plane flying to Japan. Had the circumstances been different, he would have been excited to see Japan. But now he was too preoccupied with more important matters to so much as glance out of the window. Important matters such as remembering his name. What had they told him his new name was? He had so much to remember that all of the information blended together. Seiko, that was it! His name was Seiko Yukio.

He preferred his old name; he didn't want a new one. He didn't want to belong to someone else. He didn't want to call anyone else "Mother" and "Father" because no one else would be able to live up to those titles, or to replace them. But of course Seiko was far too polite to voice his wishes, and so, upon realizing that some people had situations worse than his, he stopped his complaining.

_I should be grateful that I even survived. I have no right to be unhappy_, he mentally berated himself. _But even so, I still am._

Seiko buckled his seatbelt as the plane prepared to land. He didn't let it show, but he was nervous. What if his new family didn't like him? _Then_, he thought, _I wouldn't be surprised_. People had always thought of him as weak, useless, and fragile. Seiko had started to believe that their perception of him was true.

He grabbed his things (which wasn't much; he only brought along a few necessities and items of personal importance) and walked off of the plane, aided by the support of a cane. The top, where his pale hand gripped tightly, was decorated with a bear head. It was made of silver and modeled to look like a child's teddy bear, and it even had a bowtie around its neck. The eyes were made of hauntingly lucid sapphire.

Seiko rubbed the bear head fondly. His parents gave it to him for one of his birthdays when they realized the boy had developed a fascination with the Victorian era. That was when their family was upper middle class, on their way to untold wealth, thanks to his father's prospering medical business. That was before everything crumbled like a picture exposed to flame.

Seiko waited in the airport for his new parents. How were they to find him? He wondered, but not for long. He had forgotten that a picture of him was sent to them, and, after all, how hard would it be to locate a teenage boy with white hair and a cane in an airport?

"Are you Yukio Seiko?" a woman asked him. She looked middle aged, but despite her age she was strong willed, evinced by the sharp but loving glow of determination in her eyes. Her face was more stoic than motherly, but the latter trait shone through faintly when she smiled at him.

Seiko placed his bag down and bowed. "Yes, Madame, I am."

The woman returned the gesture of deference and introduced herself as his mother and the man standing next to her as his father. He was of approximately the same age as the woman, clean-shaven with a rigid posture. He wore a dark blue suit and black tie, and the entirety of his demeanor bespoke of CEO, president, or some other prestigious position of a venerable occupation.

"Well, let's get you to the mansion, then, since you start school tomorrow." The woman said and began walking, leaving her husband to take Seiko's bags.

Seiko's eyes widened, and it was a moment before he regained his bearings and followed behind them. "M-mansion?" Seiko was not informed that his new family was rich. He could tell this life would be a drastic change from his old one. He was used to living life as a middle class commoner, and now he had been flown into Japan and dropped into a wealthy lifestyle?

"Of course!" his "mother"—that would certainly take some getting accustomed to—sounded extremely excited.

"If I may ask, where will I be attending school?" Seiko inquired after he had recovered from his shock of riding in an actual limo. He found it awkward to settle into the unfamiliar vehicle comfortably, and shifted positions often.

"Ouran High School. It's a very prestigious school; I think you'll like it."

Seiko looked out of the window with a worried expression. _Be grateful_, he reminded himself. But where could he possibly find joy in this lavish society?

* * *

Seiko, having just finished dinner with his parents and sisters (Ringo was the younger one, not yet in middle school, and Akira was a junior in high school), began exploring the room he chose. They told him that it was one of the smaller ones, but Seiko didn't mind. It was cozy and had a large bay window with a seat. The bathroom was larger than the size of a normal bedroom (and had a jacuzzi), and the bedroom itself was more spacious than a generously sized living room. There were even two walk-in closets, and one had a window.

Seiko decided to make the closet with the window a library/study, and he figured he would lock away his memories of his old life in there as well. He unpacked a pair of pajamas and the items he would need for school tomorrow, but left the rest of the unpacking and organization for tomorrow.

Not long after, Seiko was already climbing into bed, though it was still early. He was nervous, but also slightly excited to see what surprises tomorrow would bring. Although his body felt terrible, he thanked the jet lag. It was the first night in years that he slept easily and without nightmares.

"Seiko-chan! Okaa-san told me to come wake you up for school!" Seiko heard Ringo shouting and banging on his bedroom door outside.

"Just a minute please, Ringo." he called back in response. He had just gotten out of the shower and did not have a shirt on. He knew it would have been fine to let her in, but Seiko was highly self-conscious of his body. Or, rather, highly self-conscious period.

Seiko put on the rest of the Ouran uniform and opened the door for Ringo, who was standing in pink pajamas with a teddy bear in her hand. "You're already up, Seiko-chan?" she pouted.

Seiko smiled, but it didn't touch his eyes. It no longer would, Seiko knew. In the time that had transpired since . . . the incident, Seiko merely pretended to be happy for the sake of others. He didn't know why he was left alive, but if he could do something—anything—for anyone, then he would do it. Even something as small as making people happy made him feel like he wasn't just taking up space on this already overcrowded planet. "I apologize. I'll let you wake me tomorrow, then?"

Ringo nodded eagerly and skipped out of his room. "Have a good day at school, Seiko-chan!"

Seiko looked himself over in the mirror. His hair was longer than most boys'; it fell around his face in layers like blades of grass and stopped at the back of his neck. His bangs were longer than the rest of his hair and covered his forehead to his chin (even his eye) on the right side. His visible eye was a stormy blue color, with flecks of gray. The uniform gave a bit of color to his pallid skin, but not much, and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the heat of the shower.

"Seiko, the limo is waiting for you." Akira said from his doorway.

He thanked her and grabbed his cane. She noticed his shaking fingers.

"Just call me if you need me to beat up someone for you, little brother. Ja." she held up her hand in a wave and disappeared down the hall.

_Maybe these rich people aren't so bad_. Seiko thought to himself as he slid into the limo.

* * *

Seiko looked up at Ouran in a mixture of horror and amazement. How would he ever find his way around in _there_?

"Are you lost?" a boy tapped him on the shoulder. He was rather short, only barely reaching Seiko's shoulders (and Seiko was pretty short). He was thin like Seiko, and his brown hair and wide chocolate eyes made him look the epitome of innocence. To himself, Seiko chuckled. He was innocent once, but he had been tainted by the world, and it was only a matter of time before this boy was as well. _Enjoy it while it lasts_, his bitter voice advised.

"Oh," Seiko laughed nervously (again fake), "was I that obvious? I am a new student here."

The boy smiled. "I can show you around if you like. I'm Haruhi by the way."

Seiko offered him a sweeping, European version of a bow, still somehow managing to do it gracefully even with a cane in his hand. He had grown used to living with his . . . _condition_, and rarely found it inconveniencing. "Thank you. Ah—forgive me for not introducing myself. I am Yukio Seiko."

The boy giggled—wait, _giggled_?—and led the way.

"Haruhi," Seiko began, "I do not mean to intrude on your privacy, but may I ask a question?"

"Sure, I don't mind."

"Are you a girl?"

Haruhi paused momentarily in her surprise. She laughed rather loudly, and said, after she recovered, "Yeah, I am. Please don't tell anyone though."

"Of course. It isn't my secret to tell, after all." Haruhi stopped walking. Seiko figured this was where he needed to go to get his schedule. "Thank you for helping me," he smiled and bid her goodbye.

* * *

Seiko knew it was coming as soon as he walked into his first period classroom. Those dreaded words.

"_Class, we have a new student_." the teacher sounded extremely bored. "Please introduce yourself to the class."

There they were, those words. Seiko stepped to the front of the room with his hands clasped politely over his cane. He looked upon the class, and his heart clenched in disdain. _Such carefree innocence. How can I not envy it, and hate them for it?_ "I am Yukio Seiko. I'm honored to make your acquaintance." he smiled and titled his head innocently to the side, allowing his hair to fall over his face. The action elicited squeals from a few girls.

He took a seat in the back of the classroom next to the window, and could not help but overhear two guys in front of him whispering angrily.

"Who the hell does that guy think he is?" one of them demanded.

"That player's trying to steal our game!" the other pounded his fist on the table.

Seiko tried to ignore them and listen to the instructor. Easier said than done; it was hard to tune out their vulgar comments. This was going to be a long day...

* * *

"Stop!" Seiko was in the hallway on his way to lunch when he heard a girl shout angrily. She was fighting off a boy trying to kiss her, but she was miserably failing. He had her pinned against a wall, and was shoving his body onto her.

Seiko ran over to the girl, ignoring the danger it posed to his health. "Is there a problem here?" Normally, Seiko's voice remained mild and calm, but now there was a dark undertone to it.

"And if there was?" the guy turned his attention to Seiko but did not release his victim.

Seiko pushed him aside and stood protectively in front of the girl. "Obviously this beautiful young lady is above your perverse advances, so I request on her behalf that you leave her alone."

"You brat!" the boy punched Seiko in the face.

Seiko stumbled, but remained on his feet. He could feel blood dripping from his mouth, but he paid it no mind. Seiko held his cane horizontally and shoved the end of it into the boy's stomach with enough force to send him tumbling onto his backside.

"Please leave. Now." Seiko faced the girl behind him, watching the boy sulk off into the hallways out of the corner of his eye.

"Thank you so much, Yukio-san!" the girl exclaimed.

Seiko leaned heavily on his cane, breathing shallow. He retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped away the blood, waving away the girl's concern for his health when she asked. "There is no need to thank me. I simply could not stand by and watch as you were harassed. And please, I would greatly prefer it if you called me Seiko."

She looked up at him, blushing. "Um, Seiko-san, would you maybe want to eat lunch with my friends and I? If you don't have anyone else to eat with already, that is. I just thought that since you were new and we're in the same class and all—"

"I would love to, Yuna-san. I thank you for your kind offer." Seiko walked with Yuna to the dining hall, trying to hide his surprise at how big it was.

"This is Mika," Yuna motioned to a brunette girl as they sat down, "and this is Kerushii." she pointed to a girl with red hair. "Mika, Kerushii, this is Seiko. Today's his first day at Ouran."

Seiko greeted them all kindly.

"How do you like Ouran so far?" Mika inquired.

"If all of the students are anything like you girls, then I believe I like it quite well. You are all very kind."

The three girls giggled and blushed. "Have you heard of the Host Club?" Kerushii asked somewhat shyly, looking down into her plate.

Seiko shook his head. They explained the gist of it to him.

"You should join! We would request you if you were a host."

Seiko told them that he would consider it.

As Seiko progressed throughout the day, he soon noticed that the girls at Ouran squealed. A lot.

* * *

"Mommy!" Tamaki shouted out of the blue as he and Kyoya made their way to Music Room 3.

"What now, Tamaki?" Tamaki's random outbursts had been going on for a while now, and Kyoya was beginning to get tired of them.

"The Host Club feels like it's missing something." Tamaki said in one of his rare serious moments.

Kyoya was drawn into the conversation now. "What could the club possibly be missing? We have the best of everything, and the girls are happy."

Tamaki stayed silent for a moment, thinking. At length, he said, "We need another host."

As they entered the club room, Tamaki hushed Kyoya before he could respond. "Do you hear that?" he whispered.

Kyoya did. There was a boy at the window playing the violin. The song was beautiful, but extremely sad. He hadn't felt this moved since he first heard Tamaki play the piano. They listened in silence to the boy's song. His body trembled with the emotion of his performance, and with each note he dragged across the instrument, he seemed to drag feelings from his heart, and from the hearts of his impromptu audience.

When he stopped, Tamaki clapped loudly. The boy jumped, apparently unaware of their presence until now, so absorbed in his music was he.

"My apologies. I did not know this room was in use." Kyoya wondered where this boy was from. He had an accent, but it was not prominent enough for Kyoya to tell what country he was from. And then there was his strange white hair, and his overly-formal, almost archaic manner of speaking.

"It isn't a bother," Tamaki waved it off, "hosting hours haven't started yet."

The boy bowed. Not a traditional bow, Kyoya noted, but a distinctly European style one. "I am sorry that you had to hear my terrible caterwauling." he said sheepishly, a light brush of pink dusting his alabaster cheeks.

"No, that sounded wonderful! Oh, I'm Tamaki Suoh by the way." Tamaki introduced himself, less dramatically than normal since he was not hosting.

"Kyoya Ootori. Pleased to meet you." Kyoya spoke up for the first time since they had entered the room. He would have to do some research on this boy. He was curious, most curious.

The boy put his violin away in the case, which had white, black, and gray clock faces and cogs hand painted onto it. "A pleasure to meet you both then. I am Seiko Yukio." Seiko grabbed his cane that had been leaning against the wall.

"Oh, are you that new student?"

Seiko nodded in response to Tamaki's question.

"You should stay for the Host Club, then!" Kyoya gave Tamaki a strange look. It looked like Kyoya wasn't the only one interested in the boy. _What are you planning, Tamaki?_

* * *

Seiko really just wanted to go home, but since he didn't want to be impolite, he accepted Tamaki's offer.

"Wonderful! You can stick with _moi, mon ami!_" Tamaki twirled around happily.

Seiko laughed unknowingly. He had not done it to please Tamaki. He had just . . . _laughed_, and for himself. He had heard nothing but Japanese since he got on the plane, and it was a nice change hearing French. "_Tu parles français?_" Seiko asked fluently.

Tamaki froze mid-spin and landed on his face. He squealed in happiness. "I didn't know you spoke French too, Seiko!"

Seiko nodded. "_Tu es très fascinant_." he said, and it was true. If Tamaki could make him laugh, then it was definitely true. Fascinating indeed.

"Tamaki, it's time for the club to open. Please refrain from squealing and twirling about like the child you are."

Tamaki and the other hosts, who had managed to enter without Seiko taking notice, chorused, "Welcome Princess!" as the doors of the music room opened.

The girls all went off with their hosts, and Tamaki dragged Seiko along with him. Tamaki pointed out to him which host was who, and Seiko recognized Haruhi among them.

"My darlings, this is Seiko Yukio. He's the new student at Ouran. Let's make him feel welcome, shall we?"

By the end of club hours, Seiko did feel welcomed, but he also felt extremely creeped out. All the guys did was talk empty words to these girls? Seiko had no interest in such things, and frankly he wondered why the girls did. If nothing else, Seiko prided himself in his blunt honesty. He always tried his best to be polite, but he was not timid about speaking his mind. He preferred to not deal with people at all, as it usually ended with either them or him being hurt. He and his real father had learned the hard way that people were not to be trusted or relied upon.

"So Seiko, what do you think of the Host Club?" Tamaki asked as soon as the last customer had left.

"Thank you for the insightful experience, Tamaki-senpai, but I do not hold the Host Club highly in my regards. What is the point? Humans are creatures that grow easily attached, and what you are doing will only hurt them in the end." Seiko did feel bad for saying that to the energetic blonde, who he had bonded well with just before, but what did it matter? It would prevent a friendship from ever forming, protect them both from running the risk of ever getting hurt.

Tamaki turned a pale color and fell to the ground.

Seiko kneeled beside Tamaki and poked him. Now he felt even worse. "Was I too harsh?"

"While Tamaki is prone to overreacting," Hikaru said, placing a hand on Seiko's shoulder.

"That _was_ kind of cold." Kaoru repeated the same gesture as his brother, placed a hand on Seiko's other shoulder.

"The goal of the Host Club is to make every girl happy! We say these things to make them feel good! When they're having a bad day, they come here for us to whisk away their troubles!" Tamaki, regaining his composure quite quickly, shouted adamantly. He was passionate about his lies, Seiko would give him that.

"Seiko, although these guys are big goofballs, they don't mean any harm by their actions, and they're really trying to help." Haruhi smiled at him. "They aren't bad once you get to know them."

Seiko studied Haruhi. She seemed sincere enough, and, based on Seiko's interactions with the club members, she and Kyoya seemed to be the only sane ones. "I'll have to take your word for it, Haruhi. If you choose to spend your time dressing as a boy and charming girls, then who am I to judge?"

Five pairs of eyes turned to Seiko in shock.

"He knows?"

Seiko raised an eyebrow at the group. "It is not that inconspicuous. You have no need to worry about me disclosing this information, however."

"I'm sorry, Seiko-san, but we'll need a secret of yours as insurance. Kyoya?" Tamaki looked over Kyoya's shoulder at his laptop screen.

Everyone watched Seiko's face for a hint of worry or fear. They found none. Seiko was confident that they would find little to no information on "Seiko Yukio." As long as they did not find out his real name, then he was safe. And he was the only person alive who knew it.

"What's wrong, Kyoya-senpai?" The twins asked as they too leaned over his shoulder.

"I cannot find anything at all on him. It's as if he doesn't exist." Kyoya was trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, but Seiko noticed it.

Seiko smirked. "I don't."


	2. Perfect Timing

**Author's Note: Welcome back to (the revised) chapter 2! As always, I don't Ouran High School Host Club, just my OC and the plot. Reviews, comments, and constructive criticism/ideas are always welcome, and enjoy.**

Chapter 2

Perfect Timing

"What do you mean you don't exist? That's not possible! Is it Kyoya?" Tamaki suddenly turned stark white. "Mommy, what if Seiko's a ghost?" Tamaki began shaking Kyoya's shoulders. Kyoya sighed and shrugged him off none too gently.

"Seiko is not a ghost, and I am certain that there is a logical reason as to why I cannot find any information on him."

It took Seiko a great amount of effort not to chuckle at them. _What_ is _wrong with me? Why are these people having such an effect on my emotions? Tamaki did in less than five minutes of talking what no one has been able to accomplish in four years._ "Kyoya-senpai is correct. There is a very logical answer to all of this. It is highly unlikely that you will be able to find that answer, however, without assistance from me, which I do not intend to offer."

Kyoya looked dangerously at Seiko. "Willingly, anyway."

Tamaki appeared frightened by the look in Kyoya's eyes, but Seiko was unaffected. It amused him, in fact. It was a look that Seiko had seen only once before. It was a look of _darkness._ Unlike the rest of the Host Club, Kyoya had seen the ugly side of the world. Seiko knew very little about Kyoya, but even so he could tell. Suffering left a distinct mark upon the souls it touched, and sometimes, too, upon their bodies.

"In that case—"

Tamaki was interrupted by a girl appearing in the middle of the room on a platform. "Seiko, you will be a host!" the girl pointed a finger in his face, and Seiko tried his best to ignore the impulse to slap it away.

"Excuse me? Who are you?" Seiko took a few steps back from her protruding finger.

"I'm Renge, the Host Club's manager. You would make a perfect host!"

Tamaki elbowed Kyoya in the ribs. "See, Kyoya? I told you we needed another host!"

"You will be the delicate host! Your gentle nature will provide a perfect contrast when compared with Kyoya's cool type! And your sad, lonely personality will draw girls to you and make them want to keep coming back to cheer you up!"

Kyoya scribbled down something in his notebook. "That is a genius idea, actually. It would greatly increase the profits of the Host Club."

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline your offer. I was considering joining the music club." Seiko tried to leave, but his legs were grabbed by the twins before he even made it to the door.

"Don't you want to stay," Kaoru looked up at Seiko with mischievous eyes.

"And play with us?" Hikaru finished, looking equally as evil as his brother.

"You could play your violin here. I'm sure the ladies would love it." Kyoya added.

"And you can eat cake with us!" Hunny said as he jumped on Seiko's back.

Haruhi gave Seiko a pleading look that said, "Please don't leave me here with these idiots."

Seiko sighed. He lived solely to please others now, right? What use would he be if he didn't? Seiko wanted to be needed. He didn't want to fade into the depths of history, never to be found or remembered. "Seiko Yukio" didn't exist, but that didn't mean that he had to be invisible to the world, too.

"If it pleases you, then I will accept."

Everyone (except for Kyoya and Mori) cheered. The sight made Seiko smile. _He_ did that. _He_ made them happy. _He_, the useless child, finally had something to offer.

"Then, starting today, you are a host!" Tamaki picked up Seiko and spun him around. "I'll take you under my tutelage, young host! Awww, my little Haruhi has a brother now!"

"Tamaki-senpai, please set me down. You are making me nauseous."

Tamaki let go of Seiko. _While he was still spinning_. Seiko, being petite and feathery light, flew halfway across the room—into the arms of Kyoya.

Kyoya caught him easily, despite his surprise, but Seiko ended up pressed closely against Kyoya's chest. Seiko pulled away quickly, embarrassed and blushing.

"My deepest apologies. I was unaware that Tamaki-senpai would fling me across the room." Seiko stared fixedly at the floor. He tried not to think of how firm and muscular Kyoya's chest had been. And how his hands had gripped Seiko slightly tighter than necessary, like Seiko was sand and he would fall through his hands if Kyoya let go.

"You seem to be uncomfortable." Kyoya whispered so that only Seiko could hear him.

Seiko grasped the head of his cane and leaned heavily on it. He was afraid he would fall if he didn't. "Of course not. I am merely shocked, and that is all. Flying is not an experience I can say that I enjoy."

"Would you say that being close to me is, then? Do you actually think that I didn't notice when you clutched at my shirt?" Seiko had not noticed how small he was until Kyoya was looming over him with a smirk and a strange look in his eyes.

Kyoya chuckled when Seiko's eyes widened fractionally and he gasped. "I believe I have overstayed my welcome for the day." Seiko said loudly enough for the rest of the club to hear. "Thank you for allowing me to come. Farewell, until tomorrow."

Seiko waved with the hand that was not clutching his cane before picking up his violin case and exiting the room. Once outside, he slumped against the wall, breathing quickly, and not from his illness. This morning, Seiko did not know he even possessed this many emotions. Did not know that people could have such an effect on him. Seiko knew without a doubt that the Host Club would be the death of him.

* * *

"How was your day, Seiko-chan?" Ringo asked him as soon as he had walked into the mansion.

Seiko patted her on the head and she giggled. "Give me a moment to put away my things and change please, and then I will tell you."

Ringo nodded and bounced off. Absentmindedly, he wondered how she was always so happy. She reminded him of Tamaki.

Seiko put away his violin and books in his room, and changed into a white button down long sleeves shirt and black slacks. He opened the door to his room and Ringo was standing there. Still bouncing.

"Come in, Princess Ringo." Seiko joked. Wait—since when did Seiko joke? His actions today were completely out of line. He had promised over his parents' dead bodies that he would never again be happy. It wasn't fair to them. They were dead and he was here laughing and enjoying life? Seiko closed his eyes to calm himself. If he did not keep his promise, he would be disrespecting his parents' death. _You have no right to be happy. You exist only to please_. He told himself over repeatedly. He seemed to have forgotten that today, though. Perhaps joining the Host Club was not an intelligent decision. Seiko would uphold his promise instead of indulging in his selfish desire to be needed and please others any day.

"You okay, Seiko-chan?" Ringo tugged on his shirt sleeve.

"Ah, I'm fine. Thank you for asking." Seiko opened his eyes and smiled down at her. It was fake and was only for her, as it should have been. There was no happiness in it, as it should have been. There was no one who loved him, needed him. But, deep down, he couldn't help but wish that there would have been.

* * *

"Seiko-san!" Seiko heard someone call as he stepped out of his limo the next morning. It had taken him a while, but he was finally used to the luxurious cars.

"Good morning, Yuna-san." he greeted her and waited for her to catch up.

"I heard that you joined the Host Club?" she asked eagerly.

"Indeed, you heard correctly." he cocked his head slightly and smiled down at her. "If it's not a bother of me to ask this of you, would you come visit me after school? I know that all of the other hosts will be too busy to talk to me, and I didn't want to be there by myself. I'm sorry," he laughed sadly, "that's terribly selfish of me." Seiko cast his eyes down slightly, giving him the appearance of a reprimanded child.

The girl held her hands up quickly. "No, no! It's not selfish at all! Of course I'll come."

Seiko still looked worried. "I am not stealing you away from your friends, am I?"

Yuna shook her head. "I can get them to come too!"

Seiko bowed. "I cannot thank you enough. I'm sorry for imposing, but, while I find myself without the company of others frequently and am used to it, I sometimes get lonely."

Yuna looked like she was about to cry. "Don't worry," she offered comfortingly, "you won't have to be alone anymore." she waved to him as they parted ways, promising to see him during club hours.

_I will not host_, Seiko told himself, _I will mean every word that I say_. And every word that he had ever uttered to anyone had been the truth. He had never lied to anyone, never hurt anyone. Except himself.

* * *

Seiko stood nervously outside the door to the sophomore English classroom. True, he was only a freshman, but he was far ahead (even in the advanced English class) of everyone else, and had gotten bored quickly. Chairman Suoh allowed him to be placed in the advanced sophomore course, but if his grades dropped, it was his own responsibility.

Seiko knocked quietly, so as not to disturb the class, and entered.

"You must be the new student." the teacher said lazily, feet propped casually on his desk.

Seiko nodded.

"You can take the empty seat in the back." Seiko glanced around the room. There was a seat between Kyoya and Tamaki, who was waving frantically like an idiot at Seiko.

He took his seat, leaving his cane on the wall behind him, but still in his line of vision. He was never without it since the day it had been given to him.

"Seiko, why are you in a sophomore class?" Tamaki whispered on Seiko's right.

"I am extremely far ahead of the advanced freshman class, and thus wanted something more challenging."

"This is the top sophomore class. It is unlikely that you will be able to keep up." Kyoya said on his left.

"We shall see." was all Seiko said before tuning them both out to pay attention to the lesson.

Next period, Seiko mentally sighed. He again found himself sandwiched in between Kyoya and Tamaki. Somehow he now regretted taking sophomore classes.

"How many sophomore classes are you taking?" Tamaki yelled exasperatedly.

"Only two." He was in European History with them. The top class, of course.

"Your grades are going to suffer with the extra strain." Kyoya commented apathetically.

"Kyoya-senpai," Seiko smiled at him, "I of all people should be able to tell when I'm not wanted, so please save yourself the trouble. It is already very clear without your negative comments regarding my intellectual abilities."

Kyoya still seemed to believe that Seiko did not belong there, and so decided to test Seiko's qualification himself. "First anesthetics?"

_So be it, _he thought defiantly. "Ether and chloroform." Seiko replied without blinking.

"British rule of India?"

"The Raj. Lasted from 1757-1947."

"First poison gas?"

"Chlorine. Unleashed by the Germans in the Great War at the battle of Ypres."

"Geocentric Theory."

"Ptolemy. The Earth is the center of the universe and the planets orbit around it."

"Jean Jacques Rousseau."

"'All men are born free but everywhere he is in chains.' Wrote _Emile_."

"First city state formed in Russia?"

"Kiev. By Prince Vladimir."

"Longest ruling British monarch?"

"Queen Victoria. 64 years."

Seiko could tell that Kyoya was becoming irritated.

"3 levels of the unconscious mind."

"ID, EGO, SUPEREGO. Sigmund Freud."

"Classical conditioning."

"Ivan Pavlov. Shall I expound on his experiment with dogs?"

Kyoya said nothing else. Tamaki looked at Seiko in something akin to amazement.

When Seiko looked up, he noticed that the entire class was staring at him with the same shocked expression as Tamaki, even the teacher.

"No one's ever tied with Kyoya before. Not even close." one of the students close to him whispered.

"Hey, aren't you a freshman? Woah. You're like . . . amazing, Seiko-san!" another of his classmates said.

A dark aura of evil was forming around Kyoya's head. He held his pen so tightly that it snapped cleanly in half.

Seiko couldn't resist himself. He smiled innocently at Kyoya. "Is something the matter? I'd say you almost look _uncomfortable_, Kyoya."

Tamaki hushed him, shoving his hand over Seiko's mouth. "Do you _want_ him to murder you?"

The bell rang, saving them all from the wrath of Kyoya. Tamaki dragged Seiko out of the classroom by his hand, barely allowing him enough time to grab his cane.

"Why was Kyoya-senpai so upset?" Seiko asked on the way to lunch.

Tamaki smiled sadly at him. "He has a very good reason, but it isn't my business to tell. Let's just say he's very competitive and leave it at that."

Seiko stopped walking and looked down. Had he somehow hurt Kyoya? Perhaps their little battle meant more than Seiko knew to him. Despite Kyoya not liking him, Seiko had no intentions of hurting him. He would have to go apologize. His comment about Kyoya being uncomfortable was just—_joking_. Seiko had stepped out of line again. And this time, someone had gotten hurt because of his inability to properly keep his promise. Why was he so utterly _useless_?

"Where does Kyoya-senpai eat lunch?"

"In the club room normally. Why?"

"I am going to go apologize. Thank you for inviting me to lunch with you, but may I come another time? I am not quite sure what I did, but I had not intended to harm Kyoya-senpai."

Tamaki nodded and waved to Seiko, muttering almost inaudibly, "He really is the delicate host."

* * *

Seiko stared at the doors to Music Room 3. He didn't particularly want to be alone with Kyoya. He didn't trust himself (or Kyoya either for that matter), but, nonetheless, it had to be done. Seiko pushed open the doors, half expecting petals to come flying out like before.

"May I come in?" Seiko asked as he shut the door behind him. Rather pointless, really, since he was already inside, but it was a habit, and, if nothing else, a way to break the ice.

Kyoya was languidly stretched out on one of the couches; he offered the other to Seiko.

"Senpai, after speaking with Tamaki, I realize now that our 'battle of wits,' so to speak, affected you in a way that I did not intend. For this reason I came to offer you my sincerest apologies." He bowed, Japanese style this time, and it was stiff and clumsy, it being Seiko's first time.

Kyoya said nothing, simply stared at Seiko with his piercing eyes. Seiko shifted uncomfortably. Why wasn't he saying anything? Kyoya stood in a swift motion, still without a word. He was standing next to where Seiko sat.

"Are you nervous, Seiko?" Kyoya spoke quietly, but, even so, his voice still echoed throughout the empty room.

"And if I were to say that I am?"

Kyoya smirked and swooped down to whisper in Seiko's ear. "Then I would say, 'Apology accepted.'"

Seiko jumped from the couch. "You _wanted_ to make me nervous?"

Kyoya shrugged indifferently and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Maybe so."

"Why?" Seiko asked incredulously.

"You can keep up with me in a battle of wits, so surely you should be capable of figuring me out."

Seiko ran a hand through his hair. "And if I am not?"

Kyoya placed a hand on Seiko's shoulder, causing him to stiffen. "Then you're a lot less interesting than I originally thought."

Seiko exhaled once Kyoya had removed his hand, only to jump again when Kyoya ran a finger down his side. Seiko closed his eyes and shivered. _Why must I be so ticklish?_

Kyoya ran another finger down Seiko's other side, and Seiko trembled under his featherlike touch. It seemed those dexterous fingers, always clicking away at laptop keys, were experienced at other things besides pressing buttons. Seiko tried to dodge Kyoya's fingers and walk out of the room while he still retained some sense.

"No you don't." Kyoya grabbed Seiko's wrist and spun him into him like a ballroom dance.

Seiko looked up at Kyoya, extremely confused. "W-what?" he could barely form a coherent sentence.

"I said that I forgave you, not that I wasn't going to extract revenge." Kyoya _smiled_ at him. It was the most frightening sight Seiko had ever seen. Memories of that day—_the_ day—flooded into his mind. Their twisted smiles, restraining hands. His own feelings of absolute despair and helplessness, just as he was helpless now to Kyoya's fingers. But why, why now? How could Kyoya cause those memories to resurface?

Kyoya resumed trailing his fingers down Seiko's side. He screwed his eyes shut as he shivered uncontrollably, both from his fear in the past and present.

"Oh, you really are the delicate host." Kyoya mused.

Seiko simply could not stay here any longer. It was too . . . distracting. He was close enough to the door that he could run, but his cane was on the couch behind them, and he was _not _leaving without that.

Kyoya paused momentarily, and Seiko took his chance to duck under Kyoya to the couch. Bad idea. Kyoya grabbed both of Seiko's wrists in one of his hands and tugged him into his chest. He wrapped one arm around Seiko's waist, entrapping him, and used the other hand to allow his fingers to dance over Seiko's back now.

Seiko was shivering so intensely that he was scarcely able to stand. He wriggled, frantically trying to escape Kyoya's grasp, but it was not Kyoya that he was fighting, but the chains of his memories.

Seiko froze. He realized he was being completely unfair. He had hurt Kyoya, and again broken his promise, and thus he deserved this. Seiko dropped his head in shame.

Kyoya backed away. "You are wanted more than you realize, Seiko." Kyoya sighed. "Although, my plan of coercing you into giving away information about yourself failed completely."

Seiko's head snapped up in shock. Anger. How could he be so stupid as to believe that someone actually found _him_ interesting? Of course Kyoya was just using him. That was what he existed for. That's what people did: use until there was nothing left. Never giving back.

"You needn't worry about me telling Haruhi's secret. I am quitting the Host Club after today."

"Hey, Kyoya, the boss told us to drop this sculpture off here." the twins said as they pushed a kart with a large, expensive statue on it.

"Perfect timing," he muttered evilly.

"What do you mean?"

Kyoya slid his finger down Seiko's side, causing him to jump in surprise, trip over a handkerchief that Kyoya had "dropped" moments before, and knock over the statue, sending it crashing to the floor.

Seiko stared at the remains of the statue in horror. How had that happened? Seiko was rarely clumsy, almost never. Seiko was graceful, refined. Seiko did not do clumsy things like _that_. Seiko's head swiveled to glare viciously at Kyoya. _Him_. He, who Seiko treated with nothing but the utmost kindness, even going out of his way to apologize for some wrong he was unaware he even committed, had done this. Kyoya Ootori hated Seiko; he was sure of it.

"_That_ was what I meant." he answered the twins' previous question with a smirk as he pulled out a black notebook. "Seiko Yukio," Kyoya spoke aloud as he wrote, "owes the Host Club twelve million yen."

Although Seiko had never in his life hated anyone, or even disliked them, Seiko now knew that he sure as hell hated Kyoya.


	3. Rainy Revelations

**Author's Note: I still own the same things as the past updates. Reviews/comments/criticism would be nice, and I'm open to suggestions if you want to see something put into the new chapters! Enjoy~**

Chapter 3

Rainy Revelations

Hosting hours rolled around all too soon. Seiko did not want to go back to that room, and he didn't want to see that demon Kyoya either. He closed his eyes, stopping just in front of the door. He had to calm down. Why was it that the Host Club made him _feel_ so much?

After the incident, Seiko had not felt a thing. There were no tears, no pain, no happiness or sadness or anger. He just existed. There was only one face of Seiko. One expression, one emotion, one state of mind. But now . . .

Now, Seiko was . . . not himself. He was mad; he was sad; he was happy and afraid and alone and confused; he wanted to shoot Kyoya in the face, and, most of all, he was broken. Lost and broken, so broken.

Seiko wanted to cry out and scream for help. Seiko wanted to trust someone. But Seiko would not—could not—do that. Because he knew no one would come to his rescue.

He entered Music Room 3, considerably calmer than the time he was here last. _No emotions. No nothing_, he reminded himself as he built up his walls, repairing them with love and perfection. No one could get in—_and he couldn't get out_.

"I heard that you broke a statue." Haruhi greeted as Seiko made his way to her.

"Kyoya." He helped Haruhi prepare the tea and snacks. He preferred not to talk about Kyoya, as it would only shatter the calm, emotionless state that he had worked so hard to create.

Haruhi placed an arm on his shoulder in understanding. "He's a good guy, really, once you get to know him."

"I will have to take your word for it then, for I have no intentions of doing so." Seiko deftly stole all of the trays filled with food from Haruhi. The amazed expression on her face almost made him smile. Almost.

She frowned. "Hey, I can carry some of those!"

Seiko smiled at her. "Yes, I am sure you can. But I won't allow you to."

"But Seiko, your cane!" she attempted to steal some of the trays from his hands.

"I am perfectly capable of walking without the aid of my cane, but it is slightly uncomfortable after a time." Seiko held the trays over his head and just out of reach.

He delivered the trays to each of the tables. When he returned to the kitchen, Haruhi was filling more with cups of coffee and tea.

"My, stubborn, aren't we?" Seiko chuckled as Haruhi picked up some of the trays which Seiko then proceeded to steal.

"Hey! Gosh, Seiko, let me help!" she grumbled in frustration.

Seiko coughed, wheezing slightly. "Could you bring me my cane, please?" He knew he had probably overdone himself today, what with trying to escape from Kyoya, his "fall," and now bustling about the Host Club trying to help.

She handed it to him, also stealing the trays back. "Jesus, Seiko, go sit down before you keel over!"

Seiko pulled out his handkerchief as his coughing became more severe. He clutched his cane, waiting for them to pass. His handkerchief was splattered with blood when he lowered it from his mouth.

"Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?" Haruhi asked worriedly.

Was Haruhi actually concerned for _him_? No, it couldn't be. "I am fine. Are you telling me that you were honestly concerned for me?"

Haruhi gave him a weird look. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I am deeply touched that you would worry for me." Seiko had never had anyone care for him before, worry for him. Not after the incident, anyway. It was a nice feeling. He had forgotten what it felt like, as one forgets an old yearbook in the back of a closet and discovers it years later. This feeling . . . it was like a piece of him had broken off from the unfeeling iceberg of his heart.

Haruhi rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Haruhi?"

"Hm?"

Seiko grinned at her. Real, happy, like he promised he would not do. "Thank you." Sometimes Seiko wondered if his parents would even want him to keep his promise.

* * *

"Welcome, Princess!" the hosts chorused, Seiko now among them, as the girls entered the room.

"Hello, Seiko-san!" Yuna waved to him after the petals had cleared. He recognized Mika and Kerushii with her, along with another girl he did not know.

"Hello, ladies," he bowed to them. "I am honored that you came all this way just to see me."

Seiko helped all of the girls into their seats before he took his own. "And who might you be?" Seiko said to the stranger girl.

"R-Reina." she mumbled, blushing.

Seiko smiled at her. "With your exquisite beauty there's no need to be shy."

The girls burst into fits of giggles and squeals. "Oh, Seiko, you're so sweet!"

Seiko looked at the girls from under his eyelashes. "In fact, I should be the one who is shy. You came all this way, and I fear I will, as always, prove to be a great disappointment."

"Oh no, Seiko-san, you're perfect!" Mika and Yuna sang.

Seiko blushed. "You are so kind to stain your soul with lies merely for the sake of making me feel better."

"No, we mean it!"

"Seiko-san, I heard that you tied with Kyoya in an intelligence battle?" Kerushii asked.

"Indeed, I did. I believe that I upset him, though, which is why I skipped lunch to find Kyoya and apologize to him."

"Seiko-san's smart,"

"And sweet,"

"And so gentle!" the girls all finished each other's sentences.

"Do you play any instruments?" Reina asked.

He nodded. "I play the violin. I have it with me now, actually. Would you like me to play for you?"

"Oh yes!" they squealed.

Seiko opened his case and retrieved his violin. He stood in front of the table where they sat and assumed playing position. He played the song he always played: the song he had written with his parents just before the incident, before their death. The song was sad, as was their life, even before his parents' deaths. He closed his eyes, a smile forming on his face as he was taken back to that moment of tranquility. Seiko was drowning in an ocean and this song, that moment, that memory, was his lifejacket. Seiko was vaguely aware of all noise ceasing as he continued to play. _Mother, Father_, he prayed, _please guide me. I know that holding onto you, this pain, this numbness, is unhealthy, but I am afraid that if I let it go, I will go along with it._

Seiko opened his eyes and lowered his violin. All of the girls at his table were in tears. Seiko looked around the room. _All_ of the girls were in tears.

Everyone clapped loudly, some even whistled and shouted. Seiko smiled, returning to his seat.

"Seiko-san, that was . . . heavenly!"

"Did you write that song yourself?"

"Yes. My parents helped me. The night we wrote it—that was the night of their death."

The girls all reached a hand out of comfort him. Another piece of the unfeeling iceberg cracked and drifted away.

Seiko closed his eyes. He allowed a tear to fall. There were tears, four years late, but there were tears. "Thank you. Following their death, there was no one there. I thank you for being here now."

Seiko wiped his own tears and those of the girls. "I apologize. I am so utterly selfish to speak only of myself, and now I've caused you to cry again, and on my behalf no less."

"No, Seiko, you aren't selfish. Thank _you_. When I'm having a bad day, I'll be able to remember you and how strong you are, and I know I'll be able to go on." Reina said.

"Recently, I've just been feeling so lost and emotionless. Hearing you play and talk, I don't feel that way anymore, and I know there is always a way to find happiness thanks to you." Kerushii admitted sheepishly.

"I am so fortunate to have had this time with all of you. I am immensely glad that I was able to be of assistance to you, and I'd like to thank you all for being here to listen and show me what it feels like to be accepted."

He bowed and kissed all of their hands as they left. His customers were the last to leave. Seiko turned to find all of the hosts (and Renge) staring at him.

Tamaki recovered from his shock first. "Seiko, you don't even need host training! No one has ever had that effect on all of the girls in this room!"

"Yeah, even the boss was bawling his eyes out." the twins added, laughing as he denied this and proceeded to scrub his eyes.

Hunny was in Mori's arms, clutching Usa-chan with red eyes.

Renge wiped her eyes. "You're a genius, Seiko! And I am too for coming up with this idea."

"You are a highly effective host." Kyoya observed, taking notes in his notebook.

"I was not hosting. I was being myself. Every word I said was truth. I have never told a lie, and I do not intend to start simply to pay off a debt that was not even my fault."

"Not your fault?" Tamaki asked.

"Didn't you know, Tono?"

"Yeah, boss, Kyoya made him trip."

"WHAT?" Tamaki screamed. "Why, Mother?"

"Seiko-san informed me that he was going to quit the Host Club after today, and, not wanting to lose potential profits, I took action. Now Seiko has to work to pay off twelve million yen."

Tamaki looked hurt. Haruhi did as well, but she hid it more effectively. Hunny was crying again. "Why would you want to...?"

Seiko looked up at the ceiling. He did not know why. Yes, he had promised his parents, but wasn't four years being faithful to it enough? Would they want him to move on? Seiko did not know, and he never would know their answer. It was left to him now. Seiko knew, but did not want to admit, that he was afraid. Afraid to let go. Afraid that if he let go, there would be nothing left to hold on to.

"While I myself do not know the entire answer to that yet, I can say that I was upset with Kyoya, and, in my anger, I spoke without thinking. I apologize for all of the trouble that I have caused."

Tamaki, the twins, Haruhi, and Hunny all hugged Seiko. Mori grunted and patted his head; Kyoya said nothing.

"Apology accepted you adorable little thing!" the twins said, sounding like doting parents.

"You are now officially part of this family!" Tamaki decreed.

Seiko raised an eyebrow.

"Since you don't have one, we'll be your family!" Tamaki smiled at him. "I'm Daddy, Kyoya is Mommy, Haruhi is my daughter, and you're my son. Honey can be the aunt, and Mori can be the uncle; the shady twins can be their children!"

Seiko stared at him. Stared at them all.

"You . . . you don't like it?" Tamaki asked, his voice deflating.

A tear rolled down Seiko's cheek. A large chunk of the unfeeling iceberg had cracked and broken apart, melted in the newly risen sun.

Seiko said finally, "N-no one has ever done anything this considerate for me before. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to _say_ anything," Hikaru said.

"Just _feel_ everything."

* * *

The emotional moment over, the hosts set to work on cleaning the club room. They just finished, and were debating on a cosplay theme for Monday (today was Friday).

"I think we should all dress up as cake!" Hunny said between mouthfuls of cake. Crumbs fell out of his mouth as he spoke, and Mori wiped Hunny's face with a napkin.

"A French Revolution cosplay?" Seiko offered somewhat shyly. Of course he knew his opinion was probably not wanted, but he liked to pretend that it was.

"Elaborate." Kyoya spoke tersely, thoughtfully tapping his pen on his black notebook.

"We could hold a ball in the club room, and then the hosts could be dressed as figures from the French Revolution. For example, Tamaki could portray Louis the 16th; Haruhi, Marie Antoinette; the twins, the sans culottes; and Kyoya, the executioner. And we could also reenact the deaths of Louis and Marie."

"That's awesome!" Hikaru interjected.

"Yeah, Tono gets to have his head cut off!" Kaoru said, parading around the room with his brother. At one point, they stopped next to Tamaki, dragging their fingers across his neck and making slashing sounds.

"Mommy, make them stop!"

"While that is an amusing idea, I cannot allow the host club to partake in any violence."

The twins frowned, muttering angrily, "Stupid Shadow King."

"I have the perfect idea!" Tamaki suddenly shouted. He jumped onto a coffee table, demanding full attention. "We will cosplay characters from Mario!"

The twins face palmed. "That sounds so lame boss."

"No, I'm not finished!" Tamaki whined. "In addition to cosplaying, we can put on a play! In one play, the twins can be Mario and Luigi, Kyoya can be Bowser, and Seiko can be Princess Peach! Kyoya will kidnap Seiko, and the twins have to rescue him! In the other play, Mori can be Waluigi, Hunny can be Yoshi, Haruhi can be Princess Daisy, and I can be Wario! I will kidnap Haruhi, and Hunny and Mori will try to come rescue her but fail! Then I will marry Haruhi and live happily ever after!"

The entire host club (save Kyoya, glaring, Mori, indifferent, and Seiko, trying to contain his amusement) was on the floor laughing their eyes out.

"Oh boss, that's too hilarious!" Hikaru and Kaoru managed to say in between fits of laughter.

"Why am I to cosplay a female?" Seiko did not want to wear a dress, and he certainly didn't want to be kidnapped by Kyoya.

"Because we need a Princess Peach and you're the most feminine out of all of us except Haruhi."

"This little production will cost us more than we will earn off of it." Seiko knew this translated to: I refuse to dress as a fat dinosaur.

"You can charge the girls to see the play, and you can take pictures to make a magazine of the cosplay."

Kyoya sighed. "Fine. But due to the large amount of work this will take and such short notice, all of you will have to work this weekend to put it together."

Tamaki squealed. "Yay! Now I can spend more time with my little daughter!" Tamaki moved to hug Haruhi, but she shoved him away. He retreated to a corner and grew mushrooms.

"We'll be in charge of costumes." Seiko didn't like the demented smirk on their face when they said that.

They all pitched in to help. Seiko would be writing the script, Hunny and Mori would build the sets, Tamaki would make the props, Kyoya would make the magazine, and Haruhi would advertise.

"We'll need everyone to come over this weekend for costume fitting." the twins reminded them before they left, saying that they had a photo-shoot with their mom.

"I should probably get home too before my dad starts to worry." Haruhi waved goodbye and left shortly after the twins.

"Sleepy..." Hunny mumbled, climbing into Mori's arms.

"Bye." Mori said quietly so as not to wake the already sleeping Hunny. That was the first word Seiko had ever heard Mori say. At least Seiko knew that he talked now.

Tamaki looked out of the window. "Glad I brought an umbrella today."

"It's raining?" Seiko perked up considerably.

Tamaki nodded as he gathered his things.

"If you would please excuse me, then." Seiko paused to wave goodbye before he left.

Seiko walked as quickly as his cane would allow. As soon as he exited the school, he was greeted with a pouring rain, and he turned his face skyward. Seiko loved the rain. They were the tears he could not cry. It was like him, inconveniencing and unwanted. It offered him solace when no one would, the droplets drumming gently on his back like a father would pat a child and assure him that all was well.

Seiko walked to the garden in the back of the school. He didn't want to go "home" right now. Didn't want to have to offer anyone fake smiles, didn't want to have to live for anyone else. Didn't want to have to please anyone. Just for a moment Seiko didn't want to be himself. He wanted to be like the rain, without an identity but still existing, blending and rolling into one another until there was no single raindrop, just _rain_. Seiko wanted to be just human. Wanted to blend and roll and mix with everyone else, instead of being an abandoned sock left out of the wash load, forgotten in a dryer.

Seiko slipped off his uniform jacket. It was soaked through and starting to cling to him. He covered his cane with it as he sat on a bench underneath a tree. It was already wet, true, but Seiko didn't want too much water to get into it and damage it.

Seiko shivered. His undershirt and pants were waterlogged too. They were so full that the rain began to run off of him like water on a leaf. His hair was plastered closely to his head and neck, water sliding off of it and into his eye. He clung to his cane for support as he lapsed into a violent coughing fit. Blood flowed steadily from his mouth, staining his white shirt as it followed the rain, flowing down his chin to his chest.

As Seiko wheezed in an attempt to gain oxygen, he wondered about a lot of things. Would he die here, drowning in his own blood and sorrow? Was all of his suffering finally over? Would his parents be happy to see him? Disappointed that he hadn't tried harder? Would he die as he lived, alone and in the dark?

Seiko struggled to keep his eyes open. Struggled to croak a last plea. "Cry for me, rain, when I am gone, because no one else will." Struggled to reach out his hand in vain hopes that someone would grab it.

Struggled to contain his surprise when someone did.


	4. Bloody Buttons!

**Author's Note: Welcome back! I still don't own Ouran, only Seiko and my plot. Reviews/comments/suggestions are always nice. Jeez do I get tired of repeating myself. At least only two more chapters until there's actually new material. Bear with me, and enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 4

Bloody Buttons!

"Seiko." a voice called.

He didn't want to open his eyes. He wanted to enjoy the warmth of the large hand enveloping his petite one. Wanted to enjoy the presence of another human being, even if he didn't know who it was. Wanted to enjoy the fact that someone had reached out to him.

"Seiko!" the voice called again, louder, growing anxious.

Just a moment longer . . . Just a while longer of not being anyone. Just a while longer of this sweet bliss.

Seiko opened his eyes reluctantly. It was like his soul was dropped back into his body, no longer floating lightly, freely. He was Seiko again. Chained down again.

The hand tugged and Seiko went flying into the owner's chest. "Just what were you trying to do?"

Seiko looked up and immediately wished he didn't. It had to be _Kyoya_ of all people. Seiko took his hand back and moved away slightly. "Escape the pain." His voice was cold. His heart was freezing up again, and he did nothing to stop it. Seiko picked up his cane wrapped in his uniform jacket, cradling it like a newborn child.

"I'll take you to one of my family's hospitals." Kyoya stood and offered Seiko a hand.

If it was one of Kyoya's hospitals, then that meant that Kyoya would have access to Seiko's information. No, he would not allow that to happen. He did not want anyone to know. Seiko and the boy he had been before the accident were two very different people, and he wanted it to stay that way.

Seiko draped his jacket around his shoulders and stood with the assistance of his cane. "That will not be necessary, thank you."

"At least allow me to take you home. I would like to be sure that you haven't contracted hypothermia."

Why was Kyoya being so generous? Why did he care? That's not what people did, especially not Kyoya. There must be something he was earning out of doing this, otherwise he wouldn't be here, Seiko knew. The only problem was that Seiko had no idea what he was gaining from this. He would just have to be on his guard. "I am quite capable of getting home—"

Kyoya grabbed Seiko's empty hand and pulled him towards his limo, ignoring Seiko's frustrated protests.

As soon as they were in the limo, Kyoya locked the doors and retrieved a spare uniform from underneath the seat. "You need to remove your wet clothes." Kyoya said sternly, entering doctor mode.

"I will be fine until I get home." Seiko refused adamantly. He hated showing skin. Period. He hated his body. It was a constant reminder of the incident, of his old self which he tried so hard to forget.

Kyoya moved closer to Seiko, trying to undo the buttons to his shirt. "You need to change or you are going to fall ill."

Seiko ducked under Kyoya and moved to the other side of the limo. "Ten more minutes in wet clothes will do me no harm." Seiko wrung out his shirt and tie, hoping that would appease Kyoya enough to leave him alone. It didn't.

Kyoya grabbed Seiko by his tie, drawing him closer. "How can you ever expect to help others when you are unable to even care for yourself properly?"

Seiko said nothing, merely stubbornly looked away. "Please release me." Seiko would not admit that what Kyoya said stung because it was true.

Kyoya hooked his finger under Seiko's chin, tilting his head back to him. "What I said must be true, no?"

"It does not matter. None of it does." Seiko stared Kyoya down coldly. He was going to hold on to the remaining bits of unfeeling self with all of his being. He would _not_ be swept away.

Kyoya pushed Seiko down onto the seat and supported himself with one hand over Seiko's head. He glared at Kyoya. He would not let go. He would not feel.

Kyoya undid one of the buttons to Seiko's shirt. Seiko forced his breathing to return to normal, forced his heart to stop beating erratically in fear.

Kyoya smirked and popped open another button. Seiko bit down on his lip to keep from saying anything. He did not care. To care was to feel, and he would refuse both.

Another button. There were only two left now. Only two buttons between Kyoya and everything Seiko wanted to hide. Seiko clamped his teeth down so hard that they cut through his tongue. Blood flowed in his mouth, a welcome distraction. He could handle blood and pain, but not emotion.

One button left now. One button until everything Seiko had dammed up came flowing out. Seiko clenched his eyes close as Kyoya's fingers ghosted down his shirt, slowly making their way to the last button. Seiko's breath hitched; his back arched.

"What doesn't matter?"

Seiko opened his eyes. Kyoya had moved away. The last button was still closed.

"Obviously you are not as unfeeling and emotionless as you pretend to be. It matters to you. If it didn't, you would not have reacted." Kyoya was not smirking anymore. It almost looked as if he pitied Seiko.

"I refuse to care! I refuse to feel anything!" Seiko raised his voice, sweating and breathing deeply. _How dare he pity me! _He would never understand, none of them would. All of the people who understood him were dead, killed. And they were dead _because_ of it.

Kyoya rubbed Seiko's cheek, causing him to blush bright red and swat his hand away. Kyoya, having proved his hypothesis said, "Simply because you refuse to acknowledge something does not mean that it isn't there."

* * *

Seiko was quiet for the remainder of the car ride. There was nothing to say. The Host Club had managed to worm their way under his carefully and delicately constructed mask. Did he want them out? That question he could not answer, but he did know that if they continued behaving as they had been, his mask would, in time, crumble.

Seiko was so out of it that he did not even ask how Kyoya knew where he lived once they arrived. "Thank you for bringing me home." Seiko said blandly as he exited the limo. He raised an eyebrow at Kyoya when he followed.

"I am informing your parents of how to properly care for you so you won't get sick." Kyoya explained as he walked a few paces behind Seiko.

Ringo answered the door. "Seiko-chan! You're so late! And you made us all worry!" Ringo attached herself to his leg, sobbing.

Seiko smiled and rubbed her back. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to."

"It's okay! I'll go get Okaa-san!" she disappeared inside before Seiko could even reply.

"She is a very energetic child." Kyoya chuckled. "She almost reminds me of Tamaki."

"I do not think she's quite as bad as Tamaki, however." Slipping off his shoes, Seiko motioned for Kyoya to come inside.

"Oh, Seiko! We were so worried! What happened? Are you injured?" his mother came speeding down the hall, picking Seiko up and hugging him tightly. _Fake. Lies. They couldn't care less._

"I am fine. I stayed after school late and got caught in the rain." After a pointed look from Seiko, his mother set him down.

"What about the blood then?" she still did not seem convinced that Seiko was fine. _I will _never_ be fine,_ he thought with rage of such intensity that it surprised himself.

"My illness." Seiko's parents knew about his condition, as did his private doctor that they had flown in from Europe, but other than that, no one else knew.

"Please make sure that Seiko rests this weekend. I am worried that he was in the rain too long and may catch a cold." Kyoya said after he had introduced himself.

"What about the cosplay?" Seiko wasn't particularly excited for it, but he didn't want to abandon the Host Club and not do his part.

"I will write the script, and I'm sure Hikaru and Kaoru won't mind coming here to fit your costume." Seiko should have known that Kyoya thought of everything.

"I'll make sure to take good care of him!"

Kyoya nodded, excusing himself. Seiko walked him to the door. "Thank you, senpai."

"Think of it as my way of apologizing for my rude behavior today."

Seiko blinked. _Kyoya_ was apologizing? Perhaps there was a lot more to his "Mommy" than he thought. "A-apology accepted."

"I'll see you later, Seiko-_chan_."

* * *

"Do you need anything?" his mother peeped into his room. Again. She came to look in on him nearly every 15 minutes since he had woken up. Probably checking to make sure Seiko wasn't trying to get out of bed. Not that that would be possible, seeing as his mother buried him under multiple blankets and pillows as soon as Kyoya left. She forced him to sleep, and surprisingly he slept through the entire night and the better part of the morning. Such a waste of a Saturday. But he was, at least, feeling better.

Seiko smiled to reassure her that he was fine. "I am content, thank you. Would you mind bringing me more books please?"

The doorbell rang. "Sure, just let me answer the door first."

After his mother was gone, Seiko sighed. Seiko knew she meant well, but he was not used to being around people so much, and it was starting to tire him out. He didn't want to sleep, though, because he knew the nightmares would come. Like they always did every time he shut his eyes.

"Is Seiko okay?" Seiko heard a voice yell anxiously. Tamaki.

"Tamaki, shut up! He might be sleeping." Seiko smiled. Haruhi _would_ say something like that.

"Why did you even come?"

"Your face will probably just give him a headache." The twins. Seiko imagined that Tamaki was growing mushrooms in a corner now.

"SO MEAN!" Tamaki screamed. Seiko could hear him sobbing from his room. _Upstairs._

Akira peeked in his room. "Jesus Christ, Seiko, what the hell was _that_?" Akira had headphones on her ears and looked irritated by the noise. "Are those your friends?"

Seiko hid a chuckle in his hand. "Unfortunately." Of course he was kidding. He was thankful to have them for friends. He was thankful to have "friends" at all.

"Good Lord. They have some fucking issues." she rolled her eyes and left.

Tamaki was the first of the hosts to come in his room. He practically took the door out on his way in, leaving it hanging by one hinge.

Seiko quirked a slender, silvery pale eyebrow. "Were you that pleased to see me that you had to unleash your excitement on my poor door?"

Tamaki rushed at Seiko and hugged him, as best as he could with all of the blankets Seiko was covered in, anyway. "Are you hurt? Sick? Don't die on me, Seiko!"

Haruhi and the twins came inside, skeptically inspecting the door. "Did you wake him up, senpai?" Haruhi sighed.

Seiko waved away their concern. "I was already awake. And I am as healthy as I will ever be, Tamaki-senpai."

"What happened, anyway?" Haruhi asked. Seiko's attention, however, was on the twins who were snooping through his room.

"I do not know what you intend to find, but it is unlikely that you will find anything of interest." Seiko wasn't mad at them for snooping, or worried. Everything of importance was locked in his closet, and he owned the only key.

"Guys, you're so impolite!" Haruhi looked embarrassed by their behavior.

"How exactly did you find out where I live?"

"Kyoya."

Seiko had figured as much. "I am assuming that you're here for the costume fitting?"

"We actually came to see if you were okay," Hikaru said as he retrieved supplies from a large bag.

"But that's also why we're here." Kaoru held up Seiko's costume, smirking at the horrified look on Seiko's face.

Seiko groaned. _I don't care._ But, Seiko soon realized, it was pretty hard not to care about being shoved into a frilly, uncomfortable dress by twins who obviously found his discomfort amusing. Maybe he would allow himself to feel just this once. Just this once.

* * *

"Okay, class, I'm giving you a group project!" the teacher smiled a little _too_ happily in Seiko's opinion. "You are to create a video about the scene I give you." the teacher began calling out names and scenes.

Seiko would rather get stuck with the dumbest kid in the class than Kyoya. Scratch that—Seiko would rather get hit by a bus than work with Kyoya.

"Seiko Yukio, you are with . . ."

_Please not Kyoya, please not Kyoya, please not—_

"Kyoya Ootori! And your scene is Medieval torture."

Seiko dropped his head on his desk. Working with Kyoya Ootori was already plenty torturous enough.

Seiko was a perfect student, never caused trouble, always did his work, but now, he considered not doing this project. It couldn't hurt his grade that much, right?

"Oh, by the way, class, this project will be one third of your grade this semester." the teacher shooed them off into their groups, giving them the rest of the class to discuss and plan their project.

Seiko felt a little piece of himself die inside. He wished he could follow suit.

"I propose we film our project this Saturday. I can arrange to have a dungeon and torture implements created in the Host Club room. We Ootoris pride ourself in our authenticity, after all." Kyoya whipped out paper and pen, jotting down notes for the project.

Torture implements . . . "Am I correct in assuming that I will be torturing you?" Seiko inquired hopefully. Sweet, sweet revenge. _No. Be nice._

Kyoya chuckled, smirking evilly, and pushed up his glasses so that they reflected the glare of the light. "Of course not."

Seiko lowered his head onto his desk forcefully. "All hope is lost." Seiko mumbled under his breath, but he didn't doubt that Kyoya heard him. In reality, though, Seiko knew all hope was lost as soon as he had spoken a word to Kyoya.

* * *

"Come out of there, Seiko," Hikaru demanded impatiently from outside Seiko's changing room.

"Or we'll drag you out!" Kaoru completed his brother's threat.

Seiko glared at the mirror in embarrassment. _How utterly demeaning_. He was in his Peach costume, complete with a blonde wig and tiara. The twins were kind enough to make him a scepter that could double as a walking stick, but it was their fault for refusing to allow him to use his own in the first place. They had not, thankfully, forced him into high heels or makeup. They'd sure as hell tried though.

Seiko took a few deep breaths, returning himself to his calm state, and timidly slid back the curtain that divided him and the Host Club.

"Aw, you're so cute!" the twins, Hunny, and Tamaki cooed. Haruhi, dressed in her Daisy costume, sent Seiko a sympathetic glance.

Hunny made a very convincing Yoshi; he was the perfect height. Hikaru was Mario, and Kaoru was Luigi; they too were wearing wigs. Mori's towering stature made him an ideal Waluigi, but as for Tamaki, he was nowhere near fat enough (or evil enough) to make a convincing Waluigi.

Seiko took one look at Kyoya and had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing. The twins had taken their own creative liberty over Kyoya's costume after he had refused to wear a fat dinosaur costume. Adorning his head were large black demon horns, and a black cloak covered in spikes (the spikes themselves were silver, splattered in red paint to give the effect of blood) enshrouded most of his body. His pants and shirt were both black, ripped in multiple places and showing a moderate amount of skin.

"You guys, Kyoya's supposed to be Bowser, not the freaking devil!" Haruhi scolded them after she had laughed at Kyoya's outfit.

"But Haruhi, he is the devil," Hikaru patted Kyoya on the shoulder.

"So he should dress like it." Kaoru patted his other shoulder.

"If one's attire should reflect themselves, then you, Hikaru and Kaoru, should be dressed like royal fools." Kyoya retorted coldly, but everyone knew by the slight upturn of his lips that he was kidding.

"Nah, that'd be the boss." the twins high-fived each other for their outstanding comeback.

Seiko did laugh this time as Tamaki went to his "mushroom corner." _Mother, Father, I hope you will be willing to forgive me for deciding to enjoy myself just this once. I promise on your deaths that it will be just this once._

"Hikaru, Kaoru, while your costumes are astounding, Kyoya is not the devil. One look from Kyoya would be enough to send the devil running from the depths of Hell." Seiko commented, and everyone save Mori (chuckling) and Kyoya (death glaring) fell on the floor laughing.

"Oh God, Seiko,"

"You should act like this more often!" the twins gasped out between tears of laughter as they pounded their fists of the floor.

Haruhi wiped a tear from her eye. "Having you around sure makes things a lot more interesting, Seiko."

Tamaki threw Seiko into the air, catching him in his arms. "What would we do without you? Who would stand up to your demon Mommy?"

Seiko smiled but said nothing. However, in his mind, he said all he needed to say. _You know what they would do without you. Go on living life as if you never existed. You are nothing, and it would do you a lot of good to remember that_.

* * *

"Aw, Seiko's so adorable!" Seiko resisted the urge to cover his ears as his customers screamed. They were outside in the garden, so they didn't have to keep their voices down. (Not like they kept their voices down inside either.) There were two large castles set up; one, pink and happy (Peach's), the other, dark and ominous (Bowser's). Seiko, Hikaru, Kaoru, and Kyoya were performing on one side of the garden, and Haruhi, Hunny, Mori, and Tamaki were on the other side. Kyoya had made Tamaki pay for the photographers for both events since it was his idea and the club was already over their budget.

Seeing as Tamaki was not here, Kyoya greeted the guests. "On the behalf of Tamaki, our king, I would like to welcome you to our Mario themed cosplay and show."

All the girls cheered, some even stood on their seats and clapped.

Seiko curtsied like the hosts had taught him; he picked up the movement easily and was able to perform it fluently and with grace despite his enormous fluffy dress. "Without further adieu," Seiko didn't change his voice to portray Peach, as it was already naturally rather soft and higher pitched than most males, "let the show begin!"


End file.
